I have been thinking a lot about friendship this week.  Since college I have moved several times, leaving friends behind each time.  These people are very important to me, yet as time passes and the miles apart seem to grow, it gets harder and harder to maintain close relationships.  I tend to put a lot of energy into my local friends, as they are the ones I can see face to face on a regular basis.  But lately, I have found myself struggling to find a balance.  The balance between old and new, giving and receiving, supporting and receiving support…  I feel as if I have been letting people down lately; I also feel let down by others.  This leaves me feeling stranded, unsure of how to mend these relationships.

How do you nurture your friendships?  Old friends, new friends, acquaintances and family: where do they fit into your life?  How do you let your friends know you value their friendship?  How much do you share of yourself and your time?  Do you expect reciprocity in actions or concern?

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say on the matter:

Friendship is “…a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship.”

We went to our local cineplex’s $5 movie night last night to see The Women.  If friendship was on my mind before, it is at the forefront after seeing this movie!

This is my latest neckwarmer design.  It is based on the centipede stitch in the Harmony Guide’s Knit and Purl book.  The alternating columns of knit and garter stitch give it structure and symmetry, two things that really appeal to my sensibilities, especially in a time of uncertainty.

  • Pattern: Centipede Stitch Neckwarmer

  • Yarn: Malabrigo Worsted merino, mystery color, about 3/4 a skein

  • Needles: US six 6 straight or circular

  • Notes: This measures about 25 inches long and 7 inches wide.  I created two sets of button holes, the first is 1.5″ from the edge, the second is 7″ from the edge.  They are all 3 stitches wide each on alternating knit columns.  This way the neckwarmer can be worn snugly around the neck or more loosely.

Call a friend today and let her know how important she is to you.

6 thoughts on “Friendship

  1. Although calling isn’t an option right now (I’m at work) please know; you are my friend, I think of you often and you are very important to me! I would really like to talk to you soon. Hope you are doing well…love, Hollie

  2. Love the neckwarmer, and great questions.

    One of my oldest best friends is in the States, and we have almost totally grown apart over the last few years. To be fair, I think we may have done even if we lived closer to each other, but it still makes me sad.

    For me, reciprocity is incredibly important in a friendship, otherwise it doesn’t really feel that real. But that doesn’t mean I expect, for example, that my friends should call me as often as I call them, or that they should initiate meet ups as much as I do. It means that I know that they will be there for me when I need them, and so I am happy to be there for them when they need me.

    I also have never found it easy to have more than a handful of close friends, because I tend to put a lot of energy into keeping the relationship. I just don’t have the time to invest in new people, mean as that sounds, unless I feel I really want to.

    I hope you find a way to mend the relationships that matter most to you. x

  3. I find that with true friends I can pick up right where we left off…whether it has been hours, weeks, or year since we last spent time together. I am not always the best with staying in contact. Without the internet, I am not sure I would ever stay in contact with anyone! I have been thinking about friendship myself recently…I am sure I can do a better job of being intentional with my efforts.

    I continue to love reading your blog and find that each time you post a pattern, I really want to sit down and knit! In December, I will finish this silly master’s program I am in and hope to find time to dedicate to my other passions.

    I am glad we are friends! I hope you are doing well!

  4. Well, I’m pleased to say that not only are you an outstanding daughter but a good friend as well. I miss being close to you but miles can’t separate our connection. I love catching up with your blogging. What fun we had in Alaska……Please don’t be sad Dearest…..Remember that old saying, “you are your own best friend” ? I sometimes get bored with myself and that’s when I pick up the phone and call another or eat some ice cream! I’d better start calling ’cause I’ve sworn off the extra calories for now……getting ready for the holidays ya know! Love You!

  5. I, too, have covered the subject of friendship, both new and old, in my blog this year. Time and space tend to separate people, but all it takes is an ounce of energy to reconnect and maintain those contacts.
    Love the beret and neckwarmers. And congrats on the birth of the “babies”

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