When life seems to be feeling a bit stagnant, I crave change.  Small changes or large, shaking things up a bit can have an invigorating effect.  Usually this manifests itself in a spontaneous rearranging of furniture, or joining a new knit-along.  Too much change at once though, and I risk getting lost in a swirl of to-do lists, packed calendars, and feeling uncertain of everything.

We’re walking a fine line these days.   The changes are coming swiftly now, and so we are doing our best as a family to be thoughtful, pragmatic, and proactive in our actions.  Opening a yarn shop has created waves farther out than I initially imagined, affecting people and activities in ways I hadn’t anticipated.  I have a certain level of guilt and grief about taking on my own big project outside the home and changing our lives so profoundly.

Becerra Photography

These days, our rhythms as a family are taking on an entirely new tone.  Where once I was a stay at home mama and felt no sense of rush at the beginning of a new day, now I am a working mom and wife with a lot going on outside the home for the first time in years.  While I am thrilled to be creating my own dream job, it’s also painful to let go of another dream job.  For that is just what staying home has been for me, challenges and all.  I have loved staying home with PB, witnessing every moment of her young life in a very intimate way.  And next week, PB goes from stay at home little to an enrollee at a Montessori morning program for toddlers.  More change.

When I’m at work, I worry about what I’m missing in PB’s day, and when I’m home, I struggle to stop thinking about the shop.  Being present in the moment is taking a little more effort on my part than usual. The good news is, I have a very family friendly boss who understands all of this and is willing to make certain sacrifices to spend as much time at home as possible.

Becerra Photography

Along with not being a being a stay at home mom anymore, I will no longer be a stay at home wife.  This means the structure of our domestic life is changing, too; job sharing, meal prep, laundry and errands will all be divvied up in a new way.  I’m sure that this will take some time to iron out as we both get used to letting go of old expectations and adjusting to our new normal.

Folks, this is a lot of change.  It keeps me up at night sometimes, worrying about what I’ve done by deciding to start my own business.  In my heart, I know it is right, that to pursue this dream is something I couldn’t not do.  I have watched my own mother pursue her dreams independently of being a mother, and I admire her for it.  And yet, in the pit of my stomach (especially late at night) I worry that this is all a huge mistake that could irrevocably damage our little family.

Becerra Photography

Change is swirling around me, and as I reach for an anchor to hold onto, I have to remember to be patient and gentle with myself.  To find time to add rhythm and fun to all the schedule changes.  It takes time to adjust to new routines and expectations, but it will happen.

Working parents, how do you do it?  What are some coping strategies or rhythms you’ve found to be helpful in times of great change?

*Photos are from a recent shoot we did with Chris of Becerra Photography.  It was a wonderful experience!  If you’re in Oregon, check him out!

11 thoughts on “Change

  1. While I loved being a stay-at-home mom, I also enjoyed the company of adults as I joined the work force. I was doing something I loved, which helped. Only you know what is good for you and your little family. Just do the best you can, and don’t be afraid to ask for help from those who love you.

  2. Take a deep breath and know that there are no mistakes! I admire you too…more than you will ever know! You are creating a wonderful life with your family and I can’t wait to see Stash, the shoppe! Next week!!!! And the portraits are absolutely beautiful. Xoxox

  3. you’re going to be great! I am not a parent so I can’t say how I would cope but I think knowing you are going through these emotions is a sign you’re going to be fine. Wishing you nothing but success at work and at home.

  4. My journey as s working parent has been akin to walking a tight-rope — meaning that I’m always making changes as to what works now. Today.

    My kiddos are significantly older than PB. Indeed one is just about ready to fly away from the nest. So with those few years of experience, I’d recommend accepting a few more dust bunnies to allow for more playtime/recreation time, discovering half a dozen or more good meals that are simple to throw together, asking for (or hiring out) help, and remembering that no one can “do it all.”

    I get the feeling that you and the family are going to just fine. Of course there will be bumps and readjustments. I think that’s called “life.” Best wishes to you all.

  5. I went back to work full time when my husband abruptly left me seven years ago. My children were 3, 8, and 10 at the time. They all adjusted to the change well and even welcomed a step father into their lives three years ago. Kids are resilient. While I enjoyed my eight years as a stay at home parent, my kids also see a strong women who is capable of not only supporting her family financially, but also emotionally. I have to be very organized so that I can attend soccer games, have play dates, go to school functions, and just have fun with them. I am also a role model for my daughter who is now nine. She can see what a woman can accomplish. One important tip: hire someone to clean the house!

  6. Don’t worry, pretty lady. Little families are tough, and I think our little family is particularly scrappy. And you may have noticed I’ve already stopped mowing the lawn in commemorative sacrifice. 🙂

  7. When I took a part time job when the kids were young, DH said, “Where will the time come from? It has to come from somewhere.” So true! It comes from the clean house part, which slid down the priority list. No big deal. Just keep Sweetie and PB at the top of the list, and you’ll be fine. Enjoy the adventure!

  8. I’m so excited for you and cannot wait to head back down and see the shop. Change scares me most of the time, but ultimately it always works out. I know of no one better equipped to handle this than you guys. Such caring, thoughful, intelligent people. You inspire me!

  9. I think the fact you are worried about such things is an indication of what an amazing, loving mama and wife you are and therefore how protected your family unit will be to any damage you may be fearing. Change is the only constant and this is such a dramatic season of change for everyone (to me, this always feels more like the “new year’) so this probably feels amplified. Your family is strong and will navigate and thrive through this with the help of rhythm, love and keeping a feeler out for and then letting go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. To me it sounds like you’re doing such an awesome job so far 🙂

  10. i love your pics!! They made me smile while Chris was editing them. We’ve gone through tons of changes in the last few years. I am a person who has a hard time with change, but I am slowly learning (I am a slow learner sometimes) that things keep working out, and that with my family and my health, I am blessed even though other variables may change.

  11. Take a deep breath, exhale and smile. Your post was as enjoyable as tea and scones with fresh jam. As a current stay at home Mom who loves her full-time job with all her heart, I too am starting to feel the winds of change and it is stressing me out. Trying to find a creative outlet has also been stressful which is weird since it should be relaxing, no? I have three bags of yarn and have not yet learned to knit. At some point I hope it will click and be as natural as breathing.

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